Nick Krut

Lynden, WA (AP) – Today Washington Residents Tyler Lehfeldt & Christina Lee have announced their decision to take into their home a small mixed breed kitten from friends who live outside of Lynden.  This kitten can be described as small, blue eyes, fluffy hair and a tail.  While the decision was made last night they waited until today to release this news as they had not come to a decision on the name.

After several hours of conversation and thought, Christina & Tyler have decided that the best name for the kitten is “HoverMeow.”  When asked why he chose this name, Tyler said, “I don’t know.  She didn’t get Slevin” (probably referring to popular culture references).  When Facebook friend Nicholas Krut expressed his excitement of the idea of a kitten being named “HoverMeow” on Christina’s Facebook page, Christina responded as though she needed further convincing, which has now been exposed as a ruse to delay the release of this news to the public.

This will be the first kitten in the Lynden area to be named “HoverMeow” and this Friday the 3rd of April 2009 local bar Boundary Bar Brewery will be holding a celebration party where they will discuss the development of the name and other aspects of the soon-to-be-gotten-kitten.  Some of the talking points listed on the notecard stolen from Tyler’s room include: jumping ability, bathing habits, types of creatures it will love catch and different areas in the the owner’s home where the kitten might hide.  Additionally there will be several “Kitten Showers” where friends and relatives will bring items such as scratching posts and fluffy balls attached to sticks with fishing wire for the kitten.  Community morale hasn’t been this high since the guy down the street bought a new truck.

Further contact regarding “HoverMeow: The Wonder Kitten” can be obtained by commenting on this post which I will subsequently ignore.

i had a dream we died, i laughed.

i had a dream you died, i prayed.

i had a dream i died, i laughed.

i had a dream we died, i prayed.

i had a dream you died, i laughed.

i had a dream i died, i prayed.

laughing seemed to be more helpful.

mike sat on his porch with his arms crossed over his chest, listening to your music.  silence wasn’t involved but regardless it still hurt.  as he sat there, like a cornstock swaying in the wind, waiting to be shoved into your microwave and burnt to hell he though about it all.

the thoughts dripped down his forehead like sweat down the back of the talented opera performer.  the loves dribbled down your chin like the blood of cows in the neighborhood slaughterhouse.  how will he ever keep up?  not going to happen.  fortunately he’s not even going to try.

this morning i woke up and i felt it.

you did too.

this evening i woke up and i felt it.

my emotion is lost among a sea of words, flowers, wine and your eyes.

i have never loved this much in this way and it’s almost embarrassing.

let’s find a way out.

i’m going to cry about everything until then.

i’m going to cry about everything.

your eyes.

i must be broken.

What the fuck was I thinking?

August 9th was one of those nights that I’ll never forget / remember. Better people cannot be made in a skillet.

you cheated on me, i needed that.

you cut yourself, you needed that.

i moved on, you grew.

you changed, so did i.

you loved me too much, i loved her too much.

i loved you too much, you loved me too little.

i was gone, you realized who you were.

we might still have a change.

you love yourself too much, i don’t love you enough.

you’re a big slut.

i bother you a lot, you wear an ugly hat.

i’ve grown a lot but i’m still here.  i’m still me, sliding off the tracks on 100% of relationships, doing good otherwise.

let’s count backwards from 100.

joseph was a small black ant, living on the edges of the colony.  joseph would occasionally visit the main colony and he would befriend a few other ants on his way.  no one who would maintain his interest but just little carriers who were good conversationalists.

one night joseph came home and saw that his favorite carrying pot had been blown off the edge of the windowsill and smashed by the wind.  it was a crime committed by no one but the wind, but still, he was angry.  i bet we can all see what joseph did, absolutely nothing.

joseph was a small black ant, living on the edges of the colony.  joseph would occasionally visit the main colony and he would befriend a few other ants on his way.  no one who would maintain his interest but just little carriers who were good conversationalists.

i found a strand of your hair in my room this evening.

the strength, it reminded me of you.

the length, it reminded me of us.

the singularity, it reminded me of me.

sometimes i really miss you and i know you miss me (i can see it in your eyes).  i know we are always going to be here and i don’t really mind.  i want you to know that i was love-intoxicated when i said those things.  i’ve been trying to tell you this but whenever i’m around you i find myself -o.

i love you more than anyone i’ve ever met, regardless of your involvement with anyone else, large portions of me will always belong to you.  you’re my best friend.  don’t tell anyone.