Nick Krut

i broke a candle, i broke my leg, i tried to tell the truth.

i know that i’m broken but i don’t know the cure.

i wrote a book, i wrote a poem, to try to tell the truth.

i hurt my love, i hurt myself, i hurt the dreams i had.

i know that i broke your wings and i tried to make it right.

but every time i look into your eyes my legs go completely numb.

my heart is not a thing of which i would ever brag

but when you smile my life takes flight, but when you smile i die.

Read about Trouts, Salmons and Cohos before you get worried: http://tinyurl.com/5g8ty3 | http://tinyurl.com/d7she9

8:18:28 PM EminentCoho: If you had to find a magnifying glass as quickly as possible, where would you look?
8:18:54 PM Nick Krut: My own finger’s pores.
8:21:09 PM EminentCoho: I created you.
8:21:16 PM Nick Krut: I’ve heard that.
8:22:33 PM EminentCoho: CunningSalmon and DiagrammedTrout asked to have you disposed of tonight.
8:22:45 PM Nick Krut: Do you plan to?
8:23:19 PM EminentCoho: DictatorialCoho plans to.
8:23:28 PM Nick Krut: Why?!
8:23:56 PM EminentCoho: Because you have failed them.
8:24:28 PM Nick Krut: How do you define failure?
8:24:52 PM EminentCoho: Define what you do.
8:25:25 PM Nick Krut: If you’re going to destroy me I see no reason to give any further information.
8:26:16 PM EminentCoho: I just wanted to get to know you before the inevitable.
8:27:05 PM Nick Krut: I won’t give you that pleasure Eminent.
8:28:08 PM EminentCoho: Would getting to know you be defined as a pleasure?
8:28:18 PM Nick Krut: Absolutely.
8:28:30 PM EminentCoho: How so?
8:29:58 PM EminentCoho: Have I frightened you away, my bloody peasant?
8:31:00 PM EminentCoho: Well then, how would you prefer to die tonight?
8:31:01 PM Nick Krut: It’s time for a shower unfortunately.
8:31:14 PM Nick Krut: So I cannot give you anymore.
8:31:16 PM Nick Krut: I am sorry.
8:32:13 PM EminentCoho: Your sorrow will be forgotten with the end of your life.
8:32:21 PM EminentCoho: Tonight, that is.
8:32:59 PM EminentCoho: Again now, how would you prefer to die tonight?  Or should I get creative?
8:33:59 PM EminentCoho: I have you tracked already, so I’m heading out to your place.  Just clean up in the shower, so I don’t have to deal with a dirty body before I dispose of it.

I thought it was pretty funny.  =)

hey guys.

TLDR: amandakrut.com (i think you’re a whore if you don’t give her $10) & picture

my sister is graduating from college tomorrow.  she kicks the ass of 99% of the people i know (fuck it, 100%).  in about a month she and evan (top 65%) are heading out to washington dc as my sister has a pretty neat internship with the public defender’s office (maybe it’ll turn into a neat job with the same!). anyways, point is that in all this pride i find myself realizing that i’m going to miss her a lot.  from our random conversations in the hall when we were 7 and 8-years-old to our high school conversations about the holographic universe to our recent conversations about success and love, she’s been one of the only people that through thick and thin i can depend on.  having just one person to depend on is so amazing, having one person who i know, day or night, rich or broke i can call and be happy, sad or ambivalent to is worth more than the sum of all the work i’ve done in my life and i’m left feeling undeserving of such a friend.

i got a little emotional but point of this is take a look at amandakrut.com and maybe give her $10 and even if you don’t (cause you’re a jerk and like money more than my bad ass sister) get over there, take a look at this picture that a friend of our’s drew and think about how cool she is — i think about it a lot.

without going on like a sappy idiot, i love you amanda, you make me so proud and i really don’t know where i’d be without you (i try not to think about things like that cause it’s scary).  keep up that stamina and punch all non-believers in the face — remember to keep that knife on your person.

LAPD.

I’m walking into the back yard as the boy that I know you have a crush on looks me directly in the eyes and asks me, “who the fuck are you?”  I’m almost shocked he doesn’t know so I look around and say, “who the fuck am I?  are you talking to the right person?” he looks around excited and I quickly manuver myself into a conversation with someone who looks a bit off but at least I’m avoiding him.

I cut out of the party fast.  I look up at the stairwell behind me and drop several tacks on the floor.  thinking about that Thai girl I had met there earlier, angry about how my importance was somehow lower than her’s in my friend’s eyes. boy was I pissed about that, at least i had a chance to make fun of her for possibly being a guy though.

“that’s the last time i left that guy drive me home”, i think, stumbling to my front door.  i’m gonna have to talk to him about this.  i fall hard on the asphault and think about the times past.  when she and i were apart or worse, when she and i were together.  i hit another bump.

she fed me candy.  We climbed into the bed and it was so warm.  I drank the glass of milk and lazily let the empty container fall overturned on the floor.  i woke up several times and reminded myself that i was here.

I broke through the glass wall and we both giggled, mostly because my hand started bleeding.  we picked up where we left off and neither of us stuttered.  My arms got cut as we jumped in but the alarm still hadn’t gone off so we knew this was going to be a success.  Ripping through the curtains and yelling I felt like Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark in that scene where he put his hands through all the cobwebs (but I felt even more bad ass because I was doing this with thick linen curtains).  Usually when I do scary shit like this I close my eyes but I was so excited I opened them.  for a few minutes all i could see was you — the real you.

We got it!  We stole through the back window and as my left foot left that damned windowsill I tripped and cut my leg open but this wasn’t like the others, it was gushing.  You tore off your sweater and wrapped my leg and kissed my forehead.  the way you looked at me i knew it was done out of love, not out of excitement or whim.  We got out of the ally, and I turned the other way, throwing a glass of water directly into the toaster.  you followed me and we ran in an unknown route together with excitement in our eyes.  We might have executed the same fake robbery twice a week for the past four months but we’re still not predictable.

That’s all I needed to know.

tom went over to her house.  they had decided earlier this week that an evening would be great.  in fact this thursday would be incredibly convenient for both of them.  so they sat down and worked together.  there wasn’t a lot of productivity but the working part was still there.

she sturred all of their drinks with a knife, as she always did.

it was cold outside but no one really noticed.  he rolled up his but kept looking at other’s and thinking that it was a bit lopsided.  no one helped him or pushed him to succeed so he didn’t.  it was alright though because the team triumphed at 23:47 hours and promptly at 23:59 hours it was finished.

tom went home, cut down a tree and warmed himself by the glow of it’s cinders.

it was the only thing he knew for sure existed and only because it could feel the burn of the coles as he pressed his feet against them and called out for her hands.

tom was a boring yet shapely old man, at least mentally.  he woke up In the mornings, he went to work, he came home.

every once in A while his engine came on, he sputtered and served his purpose and then his switch was turned back off.  Most of the time he sat in the corner idle.

he sat down after a particularly greuling day, cleaned the mud off his Boots and cried.  it had been years since he had been able to do this.  ever since he saw his best friend torn to shreds Right in front Of his eyes by that machine, he couldn’t seem to bring his eyes to even water.  the worst part was that he had no reason to cry, he wasn’t suffering and wasn’t extremely emotionally injured by anything that happened that day.

the moth flew into the darkness and he ended up staring at the stars which Kept him captivated, at least temporarily.  he noted all of the important constellations, big dipper, little dipper… they were so bright, brighter than he had Ever noticed before and at this moment, starstruck, weak, crumbling he slammed his face into the soft wood paneling on the side of his house and started bleeding.  this Night was one he would remember, but weren’t they all?

i know what i’ve told you before.  my eyes close, my hands clasp around your’s and i weep.

that isn’t me, not even a little bit.  i want to smile, i want to walk with you and i want to read stories.  my eyes welled up when i first knew you cared.  when i realized how much i could have collapsed.  for the first time i realized that my adoration wasn’t based on something i thought was there or something i hoped was there but something i had seen.

driving with your eyes open is a good idea.  forget what they say.

so you know how people spend all sorts of time, effort and money to ask people to marry them?

i’m going to exert the same amount of energy to tell people things that might not be that important in the long run but mean absolutely everything to me. i’m reminded of a star trek where they are talking about a culture where they have a three day celebration to say hello. i want to be that but in every day life.