You know I’ve had a confusing morning. Waking up at 5am. Making delicious eggs. Having a strange conversation. Having a beer. Writing some code.

I was scared that today might be a backstep — that today might make my recently unwavering decisions moot. I’ve decided I’m not going to do that. The events of the past five months have been quite amazing. I’m almost always alone but I’m hardly ever lonely. Missing only a few people as opposed to missing anyone who I know. I’m maturing and changing and I think that things are going right as wrong as some people might think they are.

I am smart. I am dedicated. I am able. I am strong. I am me. I will never underestimate myself. Not now, not ever. I did before and it ended up hurting me a lot.

The next step isn’t on this block or on this city though. The next step isn’t moving out of my parent’s place and getting some job. The next step is much bigger. The next step is something real.

I’m saying this to myself. You tried it once, try it again. I love you and you’re my inspiration. Maybe watch Amanda’s YouTube video a few more times.