much

As I opened the sake bottle I realized that little metal bit that is partially attached to the lid was coming off with the cap again.

Dammit.  Why must sake bottles always be overly attached to their lids.  I like that little metal bit there, it reminds me of when I was in high school, I would drink Mountain Dew^tm and I would play with that little plastic bit in-between the lid and the bottle.  I would use that piece to distract me from engaging in real conversations.  That little piece of plastic saved me so many useless conversations with my peers, conversations that they thought I heard and thought I listened to.

I have nothing to distract me now.  I hear everything that everyone says, almost to a fault.  Sometimes I hear things that people didn’t say but things that people probably meant to say.

I heard your wisper, but ignored it.  I felt your love, but rejected it.  I heard your voice, but I said the tone was too low.  I heard the movement of you, cleaning my floor, but I just walked over you.  If I am going to  be this oblivious to the world around me, I’d might as well not enter into it.  I love you, I hate you, I miss you, I despise you.  Part of you has helped me smelt the most important part of me and I don’t know where I stand anymore.  Though other people have hurt me, much much more….  You are the one who has taught me about love.  You were the one who broke the hound who was running out of line.  I wish you luck, with this history, you are going to need it.

I’m sorry if things are strange, I guess I forgot that after a shower I’m supposed to walk out of the bathroom with a towel on.  That is what I get for living alone.